Thought for the Week

Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT

October 14, 2013

We are not motivated by needs that have already been satisfied… only by those that haven’t.

We all have needs.  That is part of being human.  However, the needs that drive our behavior are the needs that have not yet been satisfied.  Sometimes, this can be confusing.  For example, at its heart, sex addiction is really a desire for connection and intimacy (emotional, relational – not necessarily sexual) but a sex addict interprets this drive as a need for sex.  No matter how much sexual behavior a sex addict engages in, the drive does not go away because sex was not the need.

What need is motivating me?  Are the behaviors I am engaging in addressing my actual need?  Do my behaviors leave me wanting more suggesting that there is a deeper need that I am missing?