Thought for the Week

Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT

Noveember 20, 2017

The warrior of light knows that everyone is afraid of everyone else.  This fear manifests itself in two ways: through aggression or through submission.  They are two facets of the same problem. –Paulo Coelho

Fear is a normal and healthy emotion.  One of the gifts fear gives us is wisdom about how safe a situation or individual is.  When fear is overwhelming, usually because it triggers trauma or emotional wounds, this gift is lost.  We react not with wisdom, which allows us to be appropriately known with boundaries in place, but instead with defensiveness.  This may manifest as pushing away (aggression) or closing in (submission).  Either way, we are not being known, we have not held our boundaries, and we inhibit possible solutions.

How do I react to challenge and discomfort?  How have my reactions impacted my relationships with others as well as my relationship with myself?  What gifts await me as I learn to respond to fear by allowing myself to be appropriately known with boundaries?