Thought for the Week

Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT

February 5, 2018

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your actions.” –unknown

Being responsible for your actions is important in recovery.  Addicts often struggle with this in two ways.  One, they behave in such a way as to be sure others will be happy or at least not upset.  By doing this, they unconsciously give others control over their actions.  Two, they think that by following the requests or guidance of others (partners, sponsors, therapists, etc.) they are not being themselves.  With this belief they resist change in an attempt to prevent others from controlling them.  When they take responsibility for their behaviors and allow others to have their own reactions (not manipulated by the addict) they take a step toward inner peace.  Likewise, when addicts take in the requests and guidance of others, consider the comfortable and uncomfortable consequences of cooperating or not cooperating, and embrace their choice, they move toward inner peace.

When have I consciously or unconsciously allowed others to control me?  When have I used a fear of being controlled as an excuse to not make changes?  What gifts await me as I embrace my choices and take responsibility for my behaviors?