Thought for the Week

Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT

June 1, 2015

Just because it is OK for others does not mean it is OK for you.

Everyone is different.  What I need for balance and sobriety may be different than what someone else needs.  This is a truth addicts must embrace.  This is especially true when an addict compares themselves to someone who is not an addict.  What may be normal, acceptable, and even healthy for a non-addict, can be a death knell for someone with an addiction.  More than one addict has found themselves in relapse and saying “This other person said they let themselves do this behavior and I thought that sounded like a good idea for me.”  We must each take responsibility for realizing and respecting our own boundaries.

Am I finding effective boundaries for myself or am I copying the boundaries of others?  What can others do that simply does not work for me?  What would change if I chose my boundaries based on what I need and not what others can do?