Thought for the Week

Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT

September 26, 2016

“Honesty is the cruelest game of all, because not only can you hurt someone – and hurt them to the bone – you can feel self-righteous about it at the same time.” –Dave Van Ronk

Many hurtful and harmful things can be said and done in the name of honesty.  In recovery, rigorous honesty is crucial.  Continuing to hide or withhold the truth only feeds our addiction and often either directly or indirectly harms those close to us.  However, like all things in a life of recovery, we must find balance.  Honesty that allows us to feel better but hurts another person to the bone is not an action taken from a place of recovery; it is an action rooted in the self-centered aspects of our addiction.  Recovery asks us to be rigorously honest while being respectful of the experience of others.

When has my honesty hurt someone else to the bone?  When has withholding the truth hurt someone else to the bone?  What gifts await me as I balance rigorous honesty with a respect of others experiences?