Thought for the Week

Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT

September 18, 2017

Ask for what you want.

We sometimes assume others know what we want.  It has been my experience that this is frequently not so.  The only person who can read your mind is you.  The couple in my office who had been happily married for over 50 years yet were making wildly inaccurate assumptions about what their partner intended or wanted drove this point home for me.  The moral is this, clearly ask for what you want!  If you are giving off subtle hints, chances are others will either miss them or misinterpret them.  If you are anxious about clearly asking for what you want, recognize this is normal.  It is a vulnerable choice to be known in this way.  Feel the fear (anxiety) and allow it to guide you in finding a clear and respectful way to ask for what you want.  You may not get what you want every time but in the end, you’ll be more satisfied.

When have I been resentful at others for not giving me what I want?  Have I asked for what I wanted clearly, indirectly, or only hinted at it?  What gifts await me as I learn to feel my fear and clearly ask for what I want?