Thought for the Week

Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT

October 16, 2017

You are not circling the drain yet but you are in the tub.

In addiction, relapse does not happen immediately.  It happens over time, one action after another.  These actions may be obvious and large, such as watching sexually graphic “not pornographic” R-rated movies or taking the “scenic way to work,” which is past the massage parlors, strip clubs, and sex worker haunts.  These actions can also be subtle and small like skipping phone calls to program members, assuming your judgment is right (not checking with others) regarding boundaries, or embracing entitlement about your situations or choices.  If you’re going to stay sober, you have to recognize when you are “in the tub” and make changes then.  If you wait to make changes only when you notice you are “circling the drain,” it is too late.

Am I “in the tub” or taking actions that move me toward relapse?  Have these actions led me or others in my community to relapse in the past?  What gifts await me as I learn to “get out of the tub” or change my actions to actively support my sobriety?