Thought for the Week

Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT

December 10, 2018

“The art of apology is an expression of the gift of responsibility.” –Wendy Behary

Responsibility and a true apology are interlinked.  Saying you’re sorry without accepting responsibility for your part is nothing more than a smoke screen.  In 12-step programs, an apology or amends is focused on responsibility.  It is common to make amends for our actions and their impacts on individuals whom we believe (sometimes rightly so) have harmed us just as much as or possibly more than we have harmed them.  None the less, the focus is not on receiving an apology or even an acknowledgment of the other’s action.  The focus is solely on taking responsibility for our part.  This art of apology, that is based on responsibility, allows for healing.

When have I made an apology without owning responsibility?  When have I been more focused on receiving an apology than making one?  What gifts await me as I accept responsibility as an integral part of my apologies (amends)?